you with the sad eyes
by beware of trips
Summary: She didn't get the popularity like Hermione. The grades like Mary. The boy like Alice. Girls like Penelope could spend their whole lives crawling to the top and still come out with nothing.


Penelope knocked twice on the door marked Vice Principal, checking her reflection in the glass as she did so.

"Come in," a low voice called. Her heart sped up. You can do this. Penelope ran her hands one more time through her long red hair, smoothing it down. Maybe she should should have worn it in a ponytail and tossed on her uniform. Really shown her dedication. Too late now. She plastered a smile on her face and opened the door.

"Good afternoon, Vice Principal Weatherbee!"

Penelope took a seat in front of his desk, delicately dropping her leather bag to the floor. Weatherbee was the new assistant principal. Although still young and fresh faced, nine months of doing this job was already taking its toll on him.

"Hello, Miss Bennett. So you're here to talk about -"

"Cheerleading, sir. I, uhh." She resisted wringing her hands. Instead, she folded them and placed them in her lap. "I really wanted Coach Perry to be here too. She told me she'd be."

"Coach Perry and I spoke earlier today." Weatherbee twirled a pencil around in his hand. "I didn't think her presence would be necessary. I thought a little chat between just the two of us would be better, don't you think?"

A little chat. She bit her lip. "Vice Principal Weatherbee, sir. Are you aware of the nepotism that goes on in this school?"

'Miss Bennett -"

"Not just the cheerleading squad, but in sports, clubs, you name it. It's running rampant through our school and it's becoming a huge problem. Worthy people are being passed up on roles they deserve." Her voiced picked up speed. Something rang in her head from debate class about keeping a level, steady tone but she brushed it away. If they wanted passion, she'd give them passion. "Heck, it wouldn't surprise me if certain teachers only got their jobs because they're friends with Principal Morton. Isn't that right?"

Weatherbee stopped twirling his pencil and looked at her through slit eyes. "What are you implying?"

Everyone knew Weatherbee and Morton's families went back ages. She had him.

"All I am saying is that some people get unfair advantages because they know people in high places. Their parents are buddies with the coach and they're friends with the outgoing cheer captain. Vice Principal Weatherbee, all I'm asking for is a chance. I want to prove myself."

"Miss Bennett - Penelope." Weatherbee leaned back in his chair. "You've had years to prove yourself."

"Have I though?"

"How long have you been a River Vixen?"

She readjusted herself in her chair, trying to keep her hands from fidgeting. "Since freshman year, sir. That's almost three full years. Exactly the same amount of time as Hermione Nichols. In fact, I actually made the squad just before her."

"I believe those lists are printed alphabetically."

"Plus, I've been doing ballet since I was four." She unfolded her hands and tucked them under her legs. "That gives me a lead over her. All she ever did a year of tap and two months of ballroom dancing." She laughed. "Useless."

"Penelope -"

"I'm better than her!" Her voice came out several octaves higher than she anticipated. She took a deep breath and smiled back at him. "All I mean is, I don't think it's fair. Hermione is good friends with our outgoing captain and she's Coach Perry's favorite. How could I have ever stood a chance?"

Weatherbee leaned forward over his desk. "Penelope," he said softly, "why are you so quick to insult your peer? Hermione isn't on trial here."

"It's not fair-"

"What exactly isn't fair?"

Penelope swallowed. "I'm a better cheerleader than she is."

"Says who?"

"Says who? Says everyone! Ask the entire squad. I'm always the first to perfect new moves, to try new things. Heck, I even nailed a formation that Hermione came up with herself!"

"Hmm." Weatherbee leaned back. "You say Miss Nichols comes up with her own formations, huh? Do you?"

"Well, no. That's not my job. Only the captain comes up with formations."

"Yet Hermione was just named the next captain yesterday, but she's already been coming up with her own formations." He nodded, the condescending prick. "Interesting."

She scoffed. "Sir, there is no point in coming up with something if you can't demonstrate it! She called me up to show the other girls how to do it. It was totally embarrassing for her."

"Miss Nichols was in here herself earlier. She was telling me and Coach Perry what a great asset you were to the squad. She had nothing but good things to say about you."

Penelope's blood ran cold. "You had a meeting about me?"

Weatherbee stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, sitting on the edge. "They're really afraid you're going to quit over not becoming captain. No one wants that."

Her voice cracked as she spoke. "If no one wants that, then why didn't they just make me captain?" She bit her lip hard, sure there was probably a smudge of lipstick on her teeth now. Weatherbee handed her a box of tissues and she took one to daintily wipe the single tear forming in the corner of her eye.

He waited for her to put the tissue down before he spoke again.

"Penelope, captain doesn't necessarily mean the most talented person on the team. Captain is a job that involves a lot more than just doing splits and standing on top of a human pyramid. It's a job that takes a lot of patience and hard work."

"Patience? Hard work?" she sneered. "Hermione doesn't have a lick of patience. And anyone can come up with some stupid formations."

Weatherbee sighed. "Hard work also meaning you need to keep a good repore with all the other girls and, quite frankly, I don't know if you could manage that."

"And… and you think Hermione could?" A huge lump was forming in her throat again. "With all due respect, I don't think you know what really goes on right under your very own nose. Hermione is a Grade A mean girl, no ifs, ands, or buts."

"Hermione -"

"Hermione made Mary Taylor go shave her legs before she'd let her join practice the other day! Who does that?"

Weatherbee rubbed his chin. "And what would you have done?"

"I would have told everyone that someone didn't shave their legs and that poor hygiene wouldn't be tolerated again."

"I see." He nodded. "Well, Penelope. The thing is that Hermione, while perhaps a bit crass, is a natural born leader. She takes charge in situations. She also doesn't demand a last minute meeting with me just to insult the way I run this school."

Penelope looked down at her lap. "Sorry."

"It's all right. I understand you're upset."

"I'm not upset!"

Weatherbee sighed. "The thing about Hermione is, the other students look up to and respect her."

"They… they only do that because she's so popular."

"Maybe. Or perhaps Hermione's popularity stems from the fact that she has such great interpersonal skills."

"The other girls though, they complain about her all the time. They say she's too tough, she yells at us -"

"And that will be her job from now on. To be tough, to keep you girls in line. Cheerleading is such an important part of the Riverdale High Athletics department, don't you think?" She nodded. "No way the Bulldogs would ever make it without our amazing River Vixens cheering them on, right?" She nodded again. "So we need to make sure our Vixens are the best. The cream of the crop."

Penelope's mouth fell open. "And you're saying I'm not?"

"No! Not at all! You're an amazing cheerleader. But I think, and Coach Perry agrees, that Hermione is just the better girl to lead. Does that make sense?"

She picked up her bag from the floor and stood up quickly. "So I guess we're done here?"

"Sit down, Miss Bennett. Sit down." Penelope stood still as he clapped his hands in front of his chest. "We came to a solution this morning. Me and Coach Perry and Hermione. We want you." He paused and smiled at her. A real, legitimate smile. Boy, he proud of himself. "To be the assistant to the cheer captain."

"Assistant?" The word left a bad taste in her mouth. "Assistant cheer captain? As in, the girl who's not good enough to be the cheer captain?"

"As in," Weatherbee rolled his arms, "the girl who will help the captain, be there every step of the way. The one who will help perfect her formations before they teach them to the squad. Maybe even the ones who teaches them herself!"

Penelope's grip tightened on her leather bag. "Be there every step of the way and get none of the credit, right?"

"Of course you'll get credit for your work! Everyone will know your title. This role was made just for you."

She pressed her lips together. The tissue was still balled up in her right hand but she refused to need it again.

"This is a pity job you're giving me, isn't it, sir?"

"Of course not." He stepped away from his desk and placed a single hand on her shoulder, looking down at her. "You've worked hard, Penelope, and you deserve this. Say you'll take the position."

She fixed her eyes on the ground. "I've worked really hard to get here."

"Of course you have. And this is the reward for all that work."

"But it's not -" She sighed and looked back up at him. "Hermione. She's okay with it?"

"Okay with it? It was her idea. She felt awful when she heard how upset you were."

Penelope felt her lip quiver and dug her teeth back into it. Hermione didn't have a compassionate bone in her body. She was doing this to mess with her.

"What do you say, Penelope?"

She pulled her lips apart, but no words came out. Just a silent nod.

"Is that a yes? You'll do it?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I'll do it."

"Excellent!" He spun around to his desk. "All we need to do is -"

Penelope took off for the door, not bothering to close it behind her. She ran to the nearest bathroom, the steady rhythm of her mary janes hitting the ground the only noise in the hall.

She leaned over the sink when she finally got to the bathroom, tossing her leather bag up counter. The cold water she splashed on her bright pink cheeks slowly cooled them, bringing her back to her normal color. After wiping the smudged makeup from under her eyes, she applied another coat of lipstick, making sure to wipe the smudge off her teeth.

Overall result was better, but not perfect. The splochiness wasn't entirely gone and her eyes had just a tint of red to them, but she could pass. It was last period and only people who knew her well would be able to see something was wrong. Heaven knew there weren't very many people like that anyway.

Well, there was the one.

Penelope ran her fingers through her hair, mussing it up ever so slightly. She remembered what he'd said to her a few weeks ago, after she'd run from her car into the school when it was raining. How her hair looked nice when it was just a little disheveled. She'd let him mess the hell out of her hair if that was what he wanted. She'd let him do a lot of things to her, as a matter of fact. He just had to ask.

Hal. She would go find Hal. Hal would see she was sad. Hal would make her feel better - he had a knack for it. She hadn't seen him since Saturday night when she'd lost track of him at Rick Mantle's house party. Maybe they could catch up over a milkshake. Maybe find somewhere quiet to go afterwards. Somewhere her hair could get messy and her lipstick smudged and she could forget about the day.

The bell rang just as she was stepping out of the bathroom, a flood of students filling the hallway around her. She walked to the very end of the hall where she could just see Hal shuffling through stuff in his locker. She hiked her bag up on her shoulder and took off for him.

"Hey stranger," Penelope said softly. She leaned against the closed locker next to him. "I could really do with a pick me up milkshake at Pops. My treat. What do you say?"

Hal froze, one hand on his locker door, the other in the process of pulling a book out. He didn't turn her way. "Hey, Pen." He let go of the book and started fumbling through his bag. "I don't know about today. I kind of have something to do."

"Oh." She scuffed her shoe against the floor, hoping she didn't sound too disappointed. "Well - well that's okay. Maybe another time?" Hal nodded towards his bag. "Hey, where'd you disappear to on Saturday anyway?"

"I'm real sorry. I didn't mean to ditch you. Something came up." His eyes darted up to her and went back down quickly. "You get home okay? Mary drive you?"

"Yeah, she did. She told me you had an emergency or something. No big deal." She put her hand on his shoulder and felt him tense. "Hey, relax. I'm not mad you left without me. You set up a ride for me." She gave him a squeeze. "How many guys would do that?"

He finally looked up at her and stood up straight. She kept her grip on him. "God, Pen. I'd hope most guys. Please, don't hang out with guys who'd ditch you at a party and not even set up a way to get you home. Leaving you was shitty of me, but that's a real scum of the Earth thing to do."

"Come on." She smiled at him. "How many guys do you think I hang out with?"

Hal gulped. "Look, Penelope. I think we need to talk." He put his hand over hers and slowly pulled it off his shoulder, pulling the collar of his shirt slightly askew. "It wasn't exactly an emergency." He rubbed the back of his neck, pulling his collar a little more off. "You see, I ran into -"

"What's that?"

Hal paused, hand still on his neck. "What's what?"

Penelope tugged his collar down, revealing a red mark. "That. Who gave you that hickey?"

He blushed, fixing his collar. "I'm sorry. I ran into Alice at the party and we -"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Her voice rose, earning her a few looks from passersby. She shook it off and closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath. "Okay, forget I said that. I'm sorry." She smiled. "I get it. You and Alice have this torrid history and you're still sad she dumped you and -"

"Penelope," Hal said softly. He put his hand on her arm. "I am so sorry. Alice and I, we got to talking and we kind of worked out what we were -"

"Worked out or fucked?" she hissed. She went to shove his hand off her arm, but hung onto it instead. She was always surprised by how rough his hands felt. Weren't boys like him supposed to be every sort of soft? Why did he love to prove her wrong?

She swallowed hard. There was something in his blue eyes pleading with her.

"Fuck," he whispered. "I didn't think you'd be this upset. I mean, it's not like we were dating or anything."

"I -" she sighed. One deep breath in, one deep breath out. "It's okay, Hal. I understand. She's grandfathered in. You had to, I don't know. Get her out of your system or something? You're only human after all." She turned his hand over and squeezed it. "Maybe this should be us starting fresh, you know? You feel better about the Alice situation, so you'll stop moping about her. So maybe we should make this official. We can go steady now."

"Oh, Pen." Hal used his free hand to cover hers. "I don't think you get it. I am so sorry -"

"Stop, Hal" she snapped. "I forgive you. Stop with all the goddamn sorries. You slept with Alice. It's done, it's over. Let's start fresh."

"No, you don't understand." He let go of her hand and closed his locker. "Alice and I are back together."

A sharp pain came to her chest. "No." She shook her head. "You wouldn't. You're smarter than that. Hal." She reached out for his arm and he stepped back. "Hal, she broke your heart into a million pieces and you're just going to let her waltz right back into your life and do it again."

Hal closed his eyes. "I love Alice. Yeah, we broke up, but it helped us figure stuff out. I want to be with Alice."

"She was sleeping around. I hope you know that." She couldn't know for certain, but if the rumours held any truth.

"Please, don't start with that. And if she was, it's done. Who cares?"

"What about what we had?" Tears threatened to rise back up and she swallowed them back down. "This meant nothing to you?"

Hal's eyes shot open. "Are you kidding me? You made it very clear you didn't want a boyfriend, Penelope. Painfully clear. You kept telling me you were just looking for fun."

"I told you that because that's what you wanted to hear," she said through grit teeth. "God, Hiram told me I'd scare you off if I came on too strong."

"Oh, so Hiram tells you something and you take it to heart?" Hal laughed. "You know me, Penelope. We're friends -"

"Are we?" she scoffed. "Like Alice will let you anywhere near me now that she's dug her claws back into you."

He sighed. "That's not true."

"Oh? Prove it." She crossed her arms over her chest. Her hands were shaking and she didn't want Hal to see. "Lets go to Pops. You know, as friends."

Hal readjusted the strap of his bag and crammed his hands in his pockets. "I told you, I can't today."

"I will -" she bit the inside of her cheek. "I'll tell her, Hal. I'll tell Alice everything."

"No, you won't." Hal's voice was soft, like he was talking to a child. "You'd never do something that dirty. You're better than that."

"Want to bet?"

"Fine, tell Alice. Won't be news though. I already told her everything that happened between us."

"Everything? Even when you came over -"

"Yes, Penelope. Every detail. Alice and I don't keep secrets."

Penelope fixed her gaze on back on her shoes. "I had a really bad day, Hal," she whispered. "I could use a friend."

Silence. When she looked up at him, her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Let me just go talk to Alice, okay?" he said softly. "She'll understand. You and I are old friends and all."

"Don't bother." She glared at him, wiping her tears away. "Have fun with your wretched piece of Southside trash. Just don't you dare come crying back to me when she breaks your heart again." She spun on her heel.

"Penelope, wait." Hal took her arm and she hit him away.

"No, Hal," she hissed. "I will never wait for you."

A few people shot her looks as she walked down the hall, a couple of them snickering behind their hands. Smeared mascara or not, she kept her head high.

She didn't stop until she got to her car in the student parking lot. A voice called out to her as she started digging for her keys.

"Penelope! Hold up!"

She looked at her reflection in the side view mirror, wiping makeup from under her eyes. The click of Hermione's heels came to a stop as she reached Penelope's car.

Hermione was all smiles, waving a stack of flyers. "How was your meeting with Weatherbee?"

Penelope rolled her eyes. "You win. No need to gloat."

"Gloat? Me?" Hermione held a hand to her chest. "Never. I just wanted to make sure you're all on board with being my assistant. We are going to have so much fun, Pen. I just know it."

"Yeah," Penelope said stiffly. "Lots of fun."

Hermione pursed her lips. "I'm trying to be nice here."

"What? By taking what's rightfully mine?"

"Cheer captain was never yours. We were both contenders and I got it. Deal with it. Not to mention I stuck my neck out for you. I got you a title."

"Yeah, your stupid assistant!" She glared at her. "Bet you feel great about yourself, huh? Killed two birds with one stone. Make yourself look like a good person while degrading me, right?"

"You are such a child." Hermione shook her head, raven hair flouncing in a way Penelope's never would. She could smell lavender shampoo flow in her direction. "I did all this so you wouldn't throw a temper tantrum and quit. Stop being such a little bitch. Thank me and be done with this."

"Thank you? I don't want your pity."

Hermione crossed her arms and smiled. "I think you do, Raggedy Ann. I think you need all the pity the world will throw at you. You have no friends, no boyfriend, so why don't you just suck it up and take this olive branch I am so generously extending."

Penelope crossed her arms, mocking Hermione's stance. "I'm doing just fine here. You think everyone is your friend, but everyone talks about you behind your back."

"And everyone talks about you right to your face. That any better?" Hermione sighed and handed her a piece of paper from the stack in her hands. "Look, I'm having a big party next week, last day of school. A celebration for be becoming cheer captain."

Penelope glanced down quickly at the paper and snatched it out of her hand before Hermione could take it back. She skimmed it quickly.

"Cheerleaders only? You just said it was a big party."

"Best way to get people to show up is to make it sound exclusive." She uncrossed her arms and put her hand on her hip, looking Penelope up and down. "So you going to come?"

She nodded curtly, her heart speeding up in her chest. She had never received a personal invitation to one of Hermione's parties. "I can make an appearance I guess."

"Great. Now if you don't mind, I have somewhere to be."

"Oh?"

"Me and some of the girls were going to Pops." Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Why? You didn't like, want to come, did you?"

Her palms itched. Play it cool. Don't sound too eager.

"No," came out of her mouth instead. She wanted to kick herself. "No, I uhh, I have a date at Pops later, actually. Can't go having two milkshakes, even if cheerleading season is over."

"A date?" Hermione lit up, her brown eyes piercing Penelope's hazel ones. "With who? Getting revenge on Hal nice and quick I see."

That was only minutes ago. There was no way -

"I mean, we all felt so bad, the way he came to that party with you and left with Alice. God, even I'm not that ballsy." She let out a giggle. "Oh, who am I kidding? Oh course I am. And then he's been avoiding you for days."

"I didn't - I mean, we weren't even -"

Hermione clutched her chest. "Oh, I'm not judging you or anything. Hal's a total catch. You just," she sighed. "Take life by the horns, Pen. If you want something, take it. Like," she put her hand on Penelope's shoulder, "if you want to be cheer captain, make sure no one else is going to stand in your way." She smiled. "So we won't see you at Pops then? Unless you show up with this mystery date of yours?"

Penelope pressed her lips together. "You know, we might go somewhere else actually."

"Of course. Sure. Just don't want to see you sneaking in for a to-go milkshake or anything." She tapped her nose and laughed. "I'm watching you."

"I'd nev-"

"I'm kidding! We'll talk about your job as my assistant sometime this week. Oh, and," she took a strand of Penelope's hair between her two fingers, "maybe run a brush through your hair. It's looking a little messy." She dropped her hair and gave her a little wave. "Bye, Pen!"

Penelope tossed her bag on the passenger seat and slowly slid into her car. She could hear the click of Hermione's steps fading away. A group of girls gigged fiercely in the distance, perhaps some of Hermione's cronies. The smell of marijuana drifted through the parking lot, but she couldn't make herself close the window.

Hermione's words rang through her ears. No friends. No boyfriend. The only thing to her name was a made up title - assistant cheer captain. Assistant. Not even good enough to make the cut. She could already hear her parents disapproval. Didn't she ever try? How bad did she have to be if Hermione was always beating her at cheerleading? If Mary had better grades? If Alice snatched a boy from under her nose?

And now she wouldn't even be able to get a to-go milkshake without losing face.

She turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the lot, silently rehearsing how to tell her parents she didn't quite make the cut.

Which cut? they might ask.

Any of them.


End file.
